Maitresse Nuit aka Nuit d'Or's articles on the psychology of BDSM & kink, relationship dynamics between Dominant & submissive, adventures in BDSM, evocative, erotic and very transgressive memoirs of past sessions. Here you can dive in the “BDSM Chronicles” which you can listen to on Patreon.
FLAGELLATION | Canes & single tail whip, the final ordeal.
“One after the other, the canes whistle and cut a lattice pattern of swollen white ridges across your buttocks which first turn to red, then purple. Each new cane slotting its strikes in the imprints of the previous ones, deepening the dents until the tender skin gives and blood rises to the surface.”
Slave [¥], my consenting captive is led to the last trial of a two days metaphorical descent in the Underworld: The flagellation. This episode concludes the transcendental experience of “Submission in times of confinement”, a podcast series in 7 episodes created during the Covid 19 lockdowns.
You can listen to the podcast series on my Youtube channel or on Patreon.
Blindfolded, our consenting captive, flanked by Mistress Aquilina and Mistress Euphrasia, journeys through the long hall of shame in a procession. Our cortege advances slowly towards the seventh gate. Slave [¥] discovers a new universe of sensations created by the “penitent” sandals equipped with spike soles he is wearing.
The corridor is barely lit with thick pillar candles planted in tall prickets made of rough cast iron spaced every two meters on each side of its walls.
The flames seem to lick the black walls with quiet undulating amber tongues; the only movement in the ominous stillness.
You stand at attention: the steel points of the penitent sandals dig into the soles of your feet delineating a new internal geography of discomfort as you assess the distance you will have to walk to the oak door of the initiation chamber.
I have hooked the long chain leash to two points. One to the ring of your Prince Albert which comes out of the chastity device through a special slot. The second through a D ring sealed in the posture collar holding your neck and chin high.
I wait in the middle of the burnished hall: a hieratic silhouette of leather: catsuit, thigh high boots, gloves, mask, my hair framing my face like a helmet. A magnet, an incarnation of the Great Goddess.
A light thug of the leash prompts you to start your march.
The long black hair of your wig softly caresses your bare shoulders, tickle your ams until it touches the biceps and extremity of the black latex gloves . It reveals the space between the back of the laced boned collar and the trim of the waspie strangling your waist. It teases your sewn nipples when a strand catches the red thread loosely linking them.
If wearing six inches heels has been at times a challenge, the pronged surface of the soles proves to be a real torture! A fit prologue to the ceremony.
Slowly, our procession advances to the quiet rhythm of my heels hitting the hard floor.
You try to remember the lessons of deportment and hold the muscles of your abdomen and back tight and up in an attempt to be as light on your feet as possible.
There is no escaping the blunt spikes which burrow under the tender skin at the root of your toes, hit the metatarsal bones, mark the plantar region, dig in your heels.
You discover a treasure of uncharted sensations as you learn new declinations of suffering.
The minute pins tear your stockings and trace new ladders with each step, sending pale ribbons shooting along your legs, keeping a record of the trial.
When you finally arrive at the door, they have designed an original map of our caravan whilst your face wears the serpentine traces of eyeliner dissolved by tears.
You kneel in Nadu at the door. I drape your leash, then the rope of supplicants around your neck and shoulders and disappear in the Inner Sanctum.
A soft padding down the hall …. candles are snuffed.
Darkness.
The two sentinels hooded and entirely clad in black latex silently mount guard at your side. They each hold a five branches silver candelabrum.
Time is suspended
The ceremony begins with the ritual of the cross of acceptance which affirms the consenting captive vows of devotion towards the Feminine principle and his Mistress. This is a necessary preparation to the caning. Intimacy and connection between slave and Mistress transform the increasing intensity of the pain.
The door opens from the inside and the vast crimson room materialises amongst the wisps of incense.
Mistress Aquilina opens the march, you follow on your fours and Mistress Euphrasia closes the door. Your small procession advances to the sofa where I am seated.
You recognise the thigh high boots, the dagger heels. My gloved hands rest on my knees.
In the position of a cross, you lie on the carpet, your forehead three inches away from the point of my toes.
My acolytes trace around you a circle of smoke with sage and sprinkle rose water on your body. The droplets, when they reach your bottom, prickle your skin.
A bell tears the silence. You kneel in front of me and my gaze, once again dive deep in your oceanic eyes, dissolving thoughts, petrifying time.
I pull slightly the thread linking your nipples and you stand at attention, feeling every prong supporting your weight.
From the corner of your eyes you register the four canes displayed on the mantel of the fireplace between the sack cloth laid on the spanking bench to your left, the two bullwhips on the rack to your right.
A lovely tableau is revealed in the psyche mirror flanked by the candelabrum: Firmly held by a series of belts, you lie on the bench, the hemp cloth tightly enveloping your waist and hips. Anchored
Behind you, I stand hieratic: the Triple Goddess, the Eternal Feminine, Creatrix, Matrix, Destructix.
Drifting on the waves of the Prelude to Parsifal, you begin a new descent in the darkness as I wake up your hind. The volley of leather thuds are quickly absorbed as you slowly blush. The air around us changes texture, it seems to thin with every blow.
One after the other, the canes whistle and cut a lattice pattern of swollen white ridges across your buttocks which first turn to red, then purple. Each new cane slotting its strikes in the imprints of the previous ones, deepening the dents until the tender skin gives and blood rises to the surface.
The space of the Crimson room changes with the intense focus of our work for this is what is happening: we are very tangibly one now: I, you, the canes, the air, the music, the room.
Our atoms are twined in this experience where the boundaries of perception have disappeared, and we both feel the strikes as the blows hurled and the impact of them, acidic, burning, breathtaking, intolerable and reaching an absurd, ecstatic pleasure.
From red to white hot and then black.
You rest, spent, taken by a formidable rush of endorphins.
I watch reclining on the sofa whilst I catch my breath.
After the caning, slave [¥] is taken to the flagellation post where he will receive the last sacrament and his liberation with the single tail whip which concludes his descent into the Underworld: an Ego death journey of transformation.
From the bench, you have been dragged to the flagellation post by Ms Aquillina and Ms Euphrasia. They have cuffed your wrists to a long metallic bar attached to cables held overhead.
I have tied your legs together from toes to hips with hemp rope and have removed the spiked sandals.
Your arms are lifted above your head by the mechanical suspension.
You breathe deeply, slowly, floating yet conscious that this last trial will demand all your strength, devotion and concentration. It will demand of me the utmost focus, precision and feeling.
I bring the braided handle to your lips to kiss as I watch you eyes turn a darker shade of steel.
With tongues of fire, the lashes drum and wrap your thighs, your arse and penetrate to the deepest of your core as the fortress of your self disintegrates, liberating the gold particules of your devotion.
Prostrate at my feet you fly on the wings of the Goddess and kiss the points of my boots.
The space slowly opens and the Crimson room glows.
Maîtresse Nuit
Thank you to
slave [¥] and my wonderful devotees for all the inspiration and
joy in the practice of this unlikely art.
The amazing women, Mistresses, Dominatrixes who have and
continue to inspire me.
my mentor Mistress Fiore
Mistress Aquilina, Mistress Euphrasia, True Severity, Miss Meyers,
Lady Lola, Morrigan Hel, Herrin Ariadne, Cassandra van Cane,
Domina Sylvia, Lady Nastasia, Lady Marlon, Lady Mephista, Lady Skotia,
Lady Roxane, Princess Zuleika, Mistress Aranea
&
Catherine Robbe-Grillet & Beverly Charpentier
More on BDSM Rituals:
If you have enjoyed this post and are intrigued by the history of the archetype of the Dominatrix, I recommend reading the wonderful book written by art historian and archeologist Anne O Nomis “The history and arts of the Dominatrix” https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/19101104-the-history-arts-of-the-dominatrix
“Women’s Rites” by Jeanne de Berg (which was the Dominatrix name of Catherine Robbe-Grillet for a long time) is an account of some poignant and beautiful ceremonies created by this talented French artist and writer.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6611256-women-s-rites
“The Ceremony” is a wonderful film part documentary by Lina Mannheimer which is inspired by “Women’s Rites”. Catherine Robbe-Grillet and her Partner and slave Beverly Charpentier (who is herself a Dominatrix) recreate a SM ceremony. This documentary sheds light into the beauty of our art, the numerous dimensions that BDSM opens. and the strength of the bonds between a Mistress and her slaves. There are some poignant interviews of her devotees.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3589290/
I recommend the book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy “Radical Ecstasy” if you are interested in the transcendental potential of SM play.
THE ART OF BALANCING DESIRES: exploring eroticism beyond the shores of vanilla sex into femdom based bdsm and/or kink within a relationship.
Balancing desires presupposes that both partners have a sense of what they like and wish to experience, that they are aware of their sexual fantasies and that they are prepared to talk openly with each other
From the fantasies of one partner, to the fantasies of both, to assessing each partners desires and exploring alone and together how to imagine and manifest a new shaped Femdom sex life.
A portion of my practice as a coach and mentor is dedicated to support people who either wish to explore their sexuality and have found that BDSM and/or kink speaks to them or those who already practice a form of Femdom based BDSM and/or kink.
I get requests for support when fairly new Dominants wish to have hands-on mentoring in real time in order to learn and/or develop certain skills as well as deepen their understanding of the psychology of BDSM and kink. These dominants may or not be in a committed relationship.
I also get request for support from couples who wish to deepen their practice and address issues they encounter which prevents them to fully enjoy their renewed sexuality and intimacy with each other.
The balancing of desires is often an underlying cause of tension between partners in a couple. This goes for vanilla as well a kinky and BDSM partners.
It can reveals itself as couples, who are in the midst of transforming their vanilla sex life into a form of BDSM and/or kink one, start experiencing discrepancies which are not always obvious to acknowledge.
Balancing desires presupposes that both partners have a sense of what they like and wish to experience, that they are aware of their sexual fantasies and that they are prepared to talk openly with each other.
Research has shown that “greater sexual self-disclosure leads to greater emotional intimacy, which in turn facilitates increased sexual satisfaction” (MacNeil & Byers, 1997). Furthermore, other studies have shown the link between sexual assertiveness, attachment orientation and sexual satisfaction: “sexual assertiveness is one distinct mechanism in the pathway between attachment orientation and sexual satisfaction. Further, this mediational model was significant for both genders separately.” (Eklund, R. & Hjelm, A. from Örebro University 2017).
KNOW THYSELF, KNOW YOUR PARTNER: Fantasy & reality
“Fantasy mirrors desire. Imagination reshapes it.” Mason Cooley
Perhaps I am doomed to retrace my steps under the illusion that I am exploring, doomed to try and learn what I should simply recognise, learning a mere fraction of what I have forgotten. Andre Breton
I ask each partner independently a series of questions which help them think about their sexual fantasies, what they already know they like and what they believe they would like to explore. I ask them what they wish to feel emotionally as well as physically. I ask them how they see themselves in the psychosexual game of avatars. Starting the investigation at the fantasy level, offers a playground where everything is possible. It is creative, unencumbered by reality and logistics. It allows for little nuggets which may be lodged in the darkness to come to the surface. At this point it is crucial to be as uncensored as possible. This investigation looks at recurring images, dreams, passages in literature, paintings, photos, films sequences that have a strong erotic pull for each of the partners.
Once, the fantasy world has been examined, the investigation focuses on what each partner would like to experience in reality, it helps shape the play, highlights hard - taboos - and soft limits - maybe one day -. Because it brings back each partner to reality, it helps formulate how this dynamic could play out and be integrated into a more conventional life for instance, or how a 24/7 could look like. One soon discovers that there are as many ways to manifest a D/s or M/s dynamic as they are couples. It is most relevant here to have integrity with oneself.
For the Dominant, it is also a place where they can think on exploring skills and techniques they might want to develop.
Then the questionnaire looks at one’s partner, what the “investigator” knows about them sexually, emotionally, what they think their wonderful partner would like, dislike, where they could be curious, open. Here again, we look at avatars which, for being somewhat clichés, can help to start the elaboration and / or the development of a character.
We examine what could prevent such a dynamic to manifesting: we look at fear, shame, past problems, residue of anger, how they may trip up this amazing plan of creating intimacy.
This personal investigation is a crucial step: not only to have a better sense of oneself sexually and emotionally, but also because it serves as a foundation for the next step of communication and exploration with your partner. Through honest communication, vulnerability, we become sexually assertive as well as curious. Through being open, we can build intimacy, well-being and joy.
NAVIGATING UNCHARTED WATERS: Communication, Vulnerability, Trust, Intimacy
“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” Rollo May
Now comes the time of sharing what each partner has learned during the personal enquiry phase. The key here is trust, curiosity, transparency, deep listening and setting uninterrupted amount of time for both of you to share and compare.
It helps to not interrupt whilst one is talking and to paraphrase here and there. Make mental notes of questions you may have, or various feeling that a particular topic may have triggered but don’t ask questions until you both have shared.
This initial sharing will probably surprise both of you: I may confirm some things you thought you knew about your partner, it may as well highlight things that had completely escaped you. It may trigger emotions positive was well as negative, be gentle with yourself and with your partner. Remember to be curious, to trust yourself and your partner and the process. You are exploring each other psychosexual landscape, you are being open to each other, it is sexy to navigate uncharted waters. I find it helps when I remind my coachees that this is akin to playing, albeit without the accoutrements of BDSM and Kink.
Be really aware of your partner as well as yourself, notice their breathing, their body posture, their eyes. Be totally with them, whilst remaining centred.
When we enter the realm of the unknown, libido wakes up. It can be scary, embarrassing, sometimes daunting. Feel the sensations that accompany the feelings, don’t push them aways, don’t resist them, take your time and if you can, embrace the discomfort. The sensations and feelings may morph into something incredibly hot and flowing or tickling and light like butterflies and silver fishes. You are creating a virtuous cycle.
If the discomfort is too much for one of you, you might want to call for a short timed pause that you both agree on: 5 to 15’ is enough. During this time, give each other space, don’t engage with other people -in real life or on your telephone- and resume the conversation.
Remember the aim of this first conversation is to share and listen, to re-establish trust and intimacy. Later on, you will have other conversations about exploring how you two can manifest a D/s relationship that nurture both, set intentions, and determine how it may look like in reality for you two.
Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig. I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen. Epictetus
As with the previous stage, the conversation can be done on your own or with the support of an intimacy coach or therapist, preferably versed in the subtleties of BDSM and Kink.
I wish you wonderful, authentic exchanges and hot connection!
Maîtresse Nuit
I’ll be happy to discuss with you how I may support you: contact me for an appointment